Have you ever been watching a TV show (or Netflix show or whatever show you’ve illegally downloaded) and found yourself crying without realizing?
Except that I have. Like, a lot. It’s such an unusual phenomenon to be watching a program I have happily invited into my life only to realize there are suddenly tears streaming down my just-smiling face and I don’t know why.
Don’t get me wrong, I have shed many a tear for television. When Jim tells Pam he’s in love with her but she’s already engaged to that douchebag, Roy. When Big Bird realizes Mr. Hooper is never coming back. When we finally find Sophia (spoiler-alert: she was in the barn this whole time). Basically every goddamn episode of Parenthood (which, for the record, I had to stop watching after only a couple of seasons because I couldn’t stop blubbering). I’m not ashamed. I’ll admit it. I’m a crier. But that’s not what I’m talking about.
Occasionally I find myself silent-crying (which I long for my kids to learn) during a show and have no idea what triggered the tears. I’m unable to pinpoint the moment that struck such an emotional cord in my highly-sensitive, lily-livered brain. Did a song play that resonated with me on some deeply emotional level? Had a character said something that elicited a suppressed memory? Was the sheer tone of a scene mirroring my current mood? Am I even sad? I don’t think so. And yet here I am, crying.
I have always been particularly affected by music. It has played an important role throughout my life (although not enough that I felt the need to create a “birthing playlist”). So often I find a movie more upsetting than those around me strictly because the score has pushed a tear-jerking button in my soul. And I consider myself quite in-tune to the emotions of others meaning basically when you cry, I cry; a terrible trait to have when you’re raising colicky twins. I attend therapy on the regular (we can all use a little help now and then, in my case, maybe more frequently) so I don’t think there are any issues I haven’t rehashed over and over again thanks to our killer medical coverage.
And yet here I am, crying. And not just crying. It’s escalated to ugly-crying. You know what I mean. The kind where snot is pouring out of your nose and you’re creating new face wrinkles with every sob. I have to admit, it’s pretty cathartic so long as you don’t try and over-analyze it. Besides, what can I do but ride it out and hopefully forget about it until it silently sneaks up on me again.
In case you’re in need of a little therapeutic cry but your teardrop-well has run dry, I recommend grabbing some tissue and watching this.Tags: crying, emotional, Mr. Hooper, Parenthood, Sesame Street, Sophia, The Office, The Walking Dead